What I Don’t Want to See

mary long
3 min readJan 25, 2021

What I don’t want to see in the coming months are interviews and Op-Eds with or about people who supported this man.

After the 2016 election, we were inundated with all kinds of articles dissecting what exactly it is that made his supporters vote for him.

I’m not interested in what their reasons were for attempted treason on our capitol.

We have spent way too long trying to figure out and understand the mind of the trump supporter. It’s time to stop.

Anyone who has lived with someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs knows that eventually the whole house revolves around the addict and their insane and irrational actions. And everyone in the house gets more and more dysfunctional because of it. Focusing on the one who’s causing the problem doesn’t help anyone.

I propose we don’t spend one more minute trying to figure out ‘the mind of the trump supporter.’ I propose the rest of us go about building the kind of country the majority of us have been dreaming of but have never before achieved. I propose we lead with love, equality and inclusion. I propose we lobby for equal education and economic reform and affordable healthcare for all.

I propose we showcase what we are capable of when we come together in unity with a common, equitable goal in mind. I propose we begin to take our role as fellow citizens seriously by looking out for each other and standing together for causes that may not help us directly but will make life better for our fellow citizens.

We have focused on the illness that made this country sick long enough. Let’s focus on what will make this nation healthy.

To be clear, ignoring them does not mean ignoring the crimes. Taking responsibility for one’s own choices is a necessary step in atonement.

As we begin this new chapter his supporters will still be here, and anyone who has tried to talk to any of them knows it’s impossible to change their minds. You can’t argue facts with someone invested in debunked conspiracies. Let’s not waste any more of our energy trying to convince them that they’re wrong. Nothing anyone says to them will make a difference. Those kinds of shifts in thinking have to come from within the person themselves.

I’m not saying to write them all off as a lost cause, because many people I love are his supporters. They have as much of a right to live and breathe as the rest of us. But what I don’t want to do is give them center stage anymore. The cost is too high.

Let’s those of us who want to build a better country take center stage now. Let’s focus our interviews and news coverage on the people who are doing the heavy lifting when it comes to restoring and re-imagining our democracy.

In twelve step programs they say ‘it’s a program of attraction, not promotion.’ I think that’s a motto we should all adopt as we rebuild our country. We can hope that those who have wandered into that dark conspiratorial jungle will see the good that’s happening and their better angels will finally wake them up.

As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, ‘hate can’t drive out hate; only love can do that.’

Let’s focus on the like-minded people who are choosing to let love lead the way. Maybe the light we give off will shine as a way out for those lost in the darkness of hate.

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mary long
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Writer, talk-show host, founder of herstorynetwork.com, woman trying to make sense of this craziness called life